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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923129">once upon a fever dream</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fitzroysquare/pseuds/fitzroysquare'>fitzroysquare</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Torchwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Audio Series 05: Aliens Among Us, Crack, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, One Direction References, Season/Series 05, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, WHO MADE THIS TROPE, mentions of Superiority Complex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:00:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fitzroysquare/pseuds/fitzroysquare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Torchwood Three is back up and running, protecting the inhabitants of Cardiff from the Sorvix, but an exploded Hub and embezzled funds mean a new source of money is needed. Which is why Gwen decides to sell Jack to One Direction.</p><p>(I am so sorry.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>once upon a fever dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I really am very, very sorry. who made this trope anyway pls tell me I want to know</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Jack, can you come out ‘ere?” Gwen yells out, her voice ringing across the Hub as she walks through the cog door entrance.</p><p>After a brief pause where her words hang in the air, the muffled sounds of Jack moving around in his office can be heard, and moments later he emerges into the main chamber of the Hub, ready to receive Gwen and any expected news. Orr perks up from where they’re sitting at their desk, interested in the activity picking up around them, though Mr. Colchester barely glances up at Jack before returning to focus on his computer screen.</p><p>“You got something for me?” he says, nearing Gwen. “Please don’t tell me there’s been more deaths in the hotel. We really need to find our way inside there soon.”</p><p>“It’s not about the hotel. It’s...something else.”</p><p>“Oh?” Jack says, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>“Look, we all know that Torchwood’s a bit strapped for cash, after what happened with our financial manager running off with all our funds and all. I mean, look around at the Hub- still looks like an exploded mess! We’re running on fumes, Jack.”</p><p>Gwen gestures with her hand in the air around her, drawing attention to the scorch marks on the walls and pieces of broken concrete that really emphasized the sewer look of the Hub.</p><p>“Which is why I’ve taken it upon myself to find a solution,” she continues. “It’s a bit...unconventional, I know. So I just wanted you to know beforehand that we really value you and everything you do for Torchwood. Truly. But-”</p><p>“Gwen,” Jack says pointedly, cutting her off. He stands, arms crossed against his chest, and waits for Gwen to get to her point.</p><p>She squeezes her eyes shut, breathing in deeply before rushing out a tangle of words: “IsoldyoutoOneDirection!”</p><p>There’s a lengthy pause as the words sink in.</p><p>“You… sold me,” Jack says flatly. “To One Direction.”</p><p>Gwen nods, her eyes wide. </p><p>“Like the boy band?” Jack says incredulously, as the enormity of Gwen’s words registers in his mind. “Am I getting this right? You sold me to a boy band?”</p><p>“Look. I know-”</p><p>“What? How? And when did you even find the time to do this?”</p><p>“Yes, I know it’s a bit speedy. But-”</p><p>“Gwen,<em> do you not see how insane this is</em>.” </p><p>“We need the money, Jack!” Gwen exclaims with her hands on her hips. “Look around at the Hub- it’s a <em> bloody </em> disaster and it’s not going to get better anytime soon. Plus, we can’t keep stealing power from the fusion restaurant across the street for God’s sake.”</p><p>Jack splutters, turning around the Hub to look around at the others for backup. “Mr. Colchester, please tell Gwen that this is not the solution.”</p><p>Mr. Colchester, wearing an unconcerned and dry look on his face that’s hardly different from his usual demeanor, only shrugs in response to Jack’s words. “I admit, it is quite...odd. But Ms. Cooper is indeed correct about our money problem. We’re supposed to be protecting Cardiff from alien threats and we can hardly keep the lights on.”</p><p>Jack throws his hands up into the air and turns to face Orr, who pleasantly smiles at him from where they sit.</p><p>“According to the CCTV, they’re waiting for you outside on the Plass,” Orr says, unhelpfully. They push their computer screen towards Jack so he can see it, pointing at the part of the feed that shows the image of five teenage boys milling around outside the Millennium Center, clearly waiting for someone or something.</p><p>“They’re here!?” Jack says in disbelief. He’s seen a lot of crazy things in his longer than average lifespan, but he’s not sure that he has the brainpower to process something on this magnitude of madness. Jack shuts his eyes and presses his palms firmly on his lids, muttering underneath his breath: “This is not happening. <em> This is not happening</em>.”</p><p>With his eyes still closed, Jack takes deep breaths in and out, opening his eyes to find himself suddenly sitting in his office at his desk, alone, rather than standing in the middle of the Hub next to Gwen, Mr. Colchester, and Orr. Disorientated and startled by waking up unexpectedly, Jack almost falls off of his chair and is only saved by his quick reflexes as he catches himself at the last second by grabbing onto the side of his desk.</p><p>Clearing his head with a shake, Jack hears the muffled sound of music through his closed office doors. Eyes narrowing, he stands up from his desk, walking over in four swift steps to his door to grab the handle and yank it open. The moment it does, Jack is immediately hit with the sound of five teenage boys clearly giving it their all.</p><p>“Orr,” he yells out over the music while the blinds rattle on the glass door next to him. “New rule. Absolutely no more One Direction music in the Hub from now on!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>again, apologies. i blame this on my prof who did an entire lecture on fanfic??? n then made the entire class specifically look up one direction fanfic and then also made us engage in academic discourse abt it???</p><p>anyway lets never do this again thanks</p></blockquote></div></div>
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